


96.8 Degrees

by enjolferre



Category: Catch-22 - Joseph Heller
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-20 02:43:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/882008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjolferre/pseuds/enjolferre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A poem on Doc Daneeka, for an English class project</p>
            </blockquote>





	96.8 Degrees

You think your life is bad?  
You know nothing, you see-  
Oh, if you only knew  
‘bout what’s happened to me!

See, I’m stuck in the army  
where our story starts out.  
I’m the doctor around here,  
I stay on the ground.

I’ll never be a pilot,  
see, I’m scared to fly.  
Getting up in those planes-  
I’d rather just die.

And die I just might!  
I’ve got all kinds of ailments.  
I’ve got incompetent nurses  
working in the medical tents.

You think you’ve got it bad?  
Well, what about me?  
Gus and Wes say I’m always  
96.8 degrees!

This Catch-22 rule,  
it’s got us all stuck.  
Every one of us, sirs,  
yes, we’re all out of luck.

See, there’s no way to win this,  
no way to get out.  
We really can’t beat it,  
get rid of your doubts.

If you want to be grounded,  
there are two simple rules:  
you just need to ask me,  
and you must be a fool.

 

 

But to ask me, dear flier,  
you’d have to be sane.  
Though if you never ask,  
something’s wrong in your brain.

This reminds me of a time,  
before I was taken  
by this ridiculous draft  
that saw through my faking-

I was a successful man  
when I had my own practice.  
Everyone came to me,  
from the poor to the actors-

And they paid me well, too!  
‘fore the war took my life  
and left me alone  
to write home to my wife.

Yossarian, though-  
yeah, he’s a nice kid.  
Got me out of flying,  
and I’m glad that he did.

But I can’t take him  
off of the flying list, no,  
for if the commanders  
found out, I would go

To the South Pacific,  
and that’s my greatest fear,  
and compared to that horror,  
I’d rather stay here.

Now my friend’s lost his Snowden  
and I’m starting to see  
that the only one to  
comfort him would be me

 

Dodging bombs in the field  
since that Milo’s a traitor  
and I can’t help but wonder,  
who is the real dictator?

And McWatt’s suicidal  
since Kid Sampson is dead  
and they think the crash killed me-  
it’s all in their heads.

And now nobody wants me-  
not even my wife,  
‘cause, you see, if I’m dead,  
she gets cash for my life.

Doc Daneeka is no more,  
I’m afraid that I’ve fallen,  
for my one friend has left me,  
and no one hears me calling.

Your stories are awful,  
I’ll admit that it’s true,  
but how would you feel,  
if mine happened to you?

So my sad tale is ending  
and my downfall is hazy,  
but I’m here in the army,  
where we’re all a bit crazy,


End file.
